Answer of the Day: Maybe Age Really Doesn't Matter

According to Lynn Snowden Picket, in her essay "In Praise of Younger Men" American women "find it easy to summarily reject younger men." She then says, "Too bad. They could be denying themselves the greatest relationship of their lives."  She then goes on to list all the benefits of a relationship with a younger man... no baggage, the sex, younger men grew up post women's lib so they have a much different view of women (hey... great point!)...

Now this could definitely be a coincidence, but I also happened to turn on Bethenny for no apparent reason on Friday afternoon and the three men on the panel of "experts" were all men who were in relationships with women 10, 20, 30 years older than they are.  Apparently blissfully happy.

Clearly, I shouldn't just arbitrarily dismiss someone just because he is younger right?

RIGHT?

I want to believe that relationships, at their core, are about compatibility, and chemistry, and shared life goals (this is where the age thing becomes a bit more challenging)... not age.

So why the big BUT leaning over my shoulder?

I like him.  He likes me.  We should just meet.  It's just a fucking date.

RIGHT?

I'm not Madonna or Tina or J.Lo, but still.  It's just a date.

Answer of the Day: Slow Your Roll Sister

So, it's been a really challenging time the last few weeks since things ended abruptly after my trip to Michigan.  Breakups are never easy.  But the lessons that I have to learn from every relationship are important.  I've learned a few things from this experience, not the least of which is that I will NEVER do a long distance relationship EVER again.

Here's why:

1.  The beginning of a relationship has enough challenges in terms of getting to know each other, the last thing you need is thousands of miles between you.  Even though it does force you to have more conversations and less physical contact, it creates, I think an artificial sense of commitment to each other.  It makes you reach out more often in order to "connect" and that constant contact makes it so much harder if things don't work out.

2.  For someone like me, who tends to rush into things too quickly, fall too fast anyway, pick out china and start scouting wedding locations before the relationship is even solidified, the distance adds additional accelerators.  For example, when you start dating someone who lives in, say, Michigan, part of the equation from the very beginning is, say, who will be able to "move" if/when the relationship reaches that point.  This is problematic for a whole lot of reasons, mostly in that before you've even met, you're forced to consider factors that in more traditional, local dating scenarios, you don't need to start thinking along those lines for many many months.

3. Virtual chemistry doesn't mean shit. Self-Explanatory.


I could probably go on... but those are the biggest and most important lessons I've learned.  And about me, I've learned that I must slow my roll.  Take my time.  I want so much to be in love.  To be loved in return.  And it's hard to be patient.  But it will be worth it.